


Being Mickey

by Blood and Weetabix (melchiorstiefel)



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: 4x10 - Liver I Hardly Know Her, Character Study, Internal Monologue, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:24:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1360573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melchiorstiefel/pseuds/Blood%20and%20Weetabix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just an internal monologue... I don't know how well this will work out.</p><p>This started as I/M/M, but I had to drop Mandy otherwise the monologue would be too muddled.</p><p>Canonical, takes place around the Kenyatta scene in 4x10.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being Mickey

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Shameless fic. I don't know where this came from, but I started meta-ing on Tumblr, and then it became a character study.
> 
> I dunno, it's 5am, and this is probably crap.
> 
> Unbetaed, not heavily edited.

When Ian ignores what he's saying, his first reaction is anger, but then... that's nothing new. When things get tough or even the slightest bit heated, Mickey lashes out.

He knows it's a problem, but what the fuck is he supposed to do about it? It's not like he can afford to calm down in this neighbourhood. His reflexes are what keeps him alive.

But this time, he feels his anger is justified. Because he is trying so  _fucking_  hard. He wants to make this work.

He  _needs_  to make it work.

He's  _trying_  to make it work.

Sometimes he thinks that he should be proud of himself. That he should congratulate or reward himself, or some pussy-shit like that. But really, he doesn't want to be proud of himself. He's not doing this for his own acceptance.

He's doing it for them. For him and Ian. Together.

And when a small voice in his head tells him that he _is_ doing it for himself, he shoots it down. He's tired of being selfish; he's tired of being "a Milkovich".

He just wants to be Mickey.

And yet, Ian doesn't seem to notice. In fact, Ian doesn't seem to notice much these days. He lives his life between everyone else. Engaging in conversations with people but not being receptive to their responses.

And Mickey isn't the cleverest person on the planet by a long-shot. He doesn't know much about anything, and he doesn't know what this all means, but he knows Gallagher.

His Gallagher.

And this isn't the way his Gallagher would normally act.

It's taken him a while, but now Mickey can admit it: he's worried. He's worried about the Ian that doesn't react when Mickey uses that name. He's worried about the Ian who works as a go-go-boy _cum_ lap-dancer. He's worried about the Ian who gets up to film the sunrise, but attacks Kenyatta an hour later.

Something is wrong with Ian, and that scares the shit out him.

Every bone in his body is telling him to run. That's his father's legacy. When someone can't help themselves, you leave them behind - let them fend for themselves.

But every time he sees Ian, he knows he has to ignore his bones; to ignore his aching muscles and the voice in his head screaming for him to get out.

It should be a difficult decision, but he knows. He has to stay by his Gallagher. His heart won't let him leave.

Because Mickey doesn't care about much, but he cares about his boyfriend.


End file.
